**sigh**

love, no matter how deep, do has its limits. sad. but true. 

paahhhtteeeey!!

finally! something to look forward to! i'm just not sure if i deserve this yet (exam results are still next year). i love the idea of dressing up according to themes. plus, the party will be in a small venue so i'm guessing it would be much or less 'exclusive'. hopefully, there won't be an idiot there who'd dare lit up a cigarette! the party organizer turned out to be a classmate in high school so i am expecting lots familiar faces. 

yey!!!!!!!! so excited! 

cheers! 

childhood nostalgia

it was the weirdest thing. i woke up this morning after dreaming of the time when i was 8 and our teacher asked us to showcase our talent. due to the fact that i had the shortest attention span in the family, i never learned any talent to showcase. by the time i was eight, i must have dropped about five summer lessons in arts in favor of day dreaming. 

singing in front of forty people is not among my fondest childhood memory. i managed to shoved the entire experience out of my mind. until we had grade school our reunion last year. i realized i can no longer remember the song. until this morning. 

Basta't maghintay ka lamang

by Ted Ito

baduy na kung baduy!! haha but i'll always have a soft spot for this song! it got me started on singing (much to my family's chagrin) :) 

just a thought

we deserved more than a few smileys, you SOB! we deserved to be wooed. to feel like no other will do. all women do. so take your selfish narcissistic sorry piece of ass off my radar! you, chauvinist pig! 

this is me disappointed.

hell week coming up!

will be doing some overtime hitting the books! and so will my good old reliable coffee maker. 

this was a gift from kuya delon four years ago. we've been through a lot. i remember the  weekends spent at my apartment doing quarterly reports for one b****** boss. or the time when i had to stay home for 3 days straight after blowing off the monthly budget on an antique sewing machine that i never learned how to use. 

meandthiscoffeemakerarethistight.

'he'hashelpedmethroughalotofhell.

ihavenotdoubtthatitwillstaythatwayaslongasitakeextragoodcareofhim!

our relationship is a classic example of mutual symbiosis!

the only thing left to do is pick a name for him (i'll explain in another entry).

cheers!

Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are [Official Video]

this songs makes me nostalgic. if only all guys can be as poetic and appreciative as bruno mars! men should take lessons from him on how to woo women. i'm sure he'd make divorce and annulment obsolete!

cheers!

epic pathofail

  

no relief came with the puffing. i must reaaaaaally be depressed. a big mac, perhaps?

cheers!

my own brand of morbidness

Noun	1.	morbidness - an abnormally gloomy or unhealthy state of mind; "his fear of being alone verges on morbidity" morbidity cognitive state, state of mind - the state of a person's cognitive processes  i have a feeling my demise would just be from either of these two:

Adenocarcinoma of the Colon

Ulcerative Gastric Adenocarcinoma

								cheers!

F for fickleminded

i've been told to be wary of wishing. because when you wish for something so badly, the universe may just go ahead and give it to you. i got a text today from an ex-boyfriend-almost-boyfriend-again-for-the-nth-time. more chances? i really thought i wanted one. 

from the bottom of my heart, i really really really am sorry. i never meant to lead you on. you see, when i finally decided to let things take its own course, life got in way. i've loved you for so long. and in all those years that you've stayed away, i keep telling myself that fate would find a way to bring us back together. so whatever i felt, i decided to set them aside. just so i could keep breathing. i want you to know that when i did this, i had faith that whatever feelings i had, could withstand anything. i guess its  really true that you could teach your heart to forget. and love again. it may not be in same way as i have loved you. but still, i learned. and i did it without losing myself. as i have lost myself with you. and i think i like love this way. 

truth be told, i had no idea saying no could be so liberating. really. i was at lost for words. even now, i still could not believe at the immensity of the wave of relief that washed over me when i realized that there is nothing that you could say or do that could touch me again. ever.

you are dead to me now. at last. i am in peace.

Olive gets an A in Easy A

i could watch this movie over and over again and never get tired of it. i watched it three times already and it never fails to crack me up. its just like watching reruns of friends. i love emma stone. she delivers just the right amount of sarcasm (minus the arrogance) in the witty dialogues employed althroughout the movie. a delightful addition were Patricia Clarkson and Stanley Tucci who played olive's parents. they made me wish i could be just like them when i have my kids. 

hurraaay to emma stone. and more power! im definitely keeping my eyes on her. i have a feeling that she is the one star to watch in the coming months.

B.o.B - Nothin' On You [feat. Bruno Mars] (Video)

wishing one day, i'd have the courage to believe when someone sings this again.

sacrifices

facebook deactivated. check.

family issues shelved. check. 

lovelife terminated. check.

dear old friends on mute. check.
saturday nights on home cooked noodles. check. 

whats next? 

the sacrifices of medicine. 

would it be worth it? 

i pray so.

Runaway -The Corrs Unplugged

the ultimate theme song of my life.. or at least, until I'm done with school.

haaay.. I am getting that sinking feeling of being sooo out of place. Again.

Is this really for me?

Imelda

Except for the shoes and her alleged psychological problems, what do we really know about her?

My curiosity was piqued after I came across an article about her thirty- something philanthropist and youngest daughter Aimee. I was amazed by the fact that, despite her family's history with this country, she still stayed and  opted to study here. She got her high school diploma in one of private schools in Manila (Poveda, I think).  She also got her college degree here (Ateneo).  I kept thinking how brave she must be. Given the propensity of most people for cruelty,  I could only imagine the things that she had to endure. Along with those diploma, she must have also graduated with an iron-clad strength and amazing resilience. I would hazzard a guess that Philippines history was not among her favorite subjects. And here I was thinking my high school was traumatic! I really admire her for her courage. If I were in her place, I would have chickened out,  dug in my heels, and demanded that be allowed to study abroad.  And I wouldn't have cared less if I never set foot on this country again. But of course, thats just me. Plus, I could be wrong about my assumptions. For all I know, she had a blast in all the years that she spent in those private schools. (note to self: take the cynicism down a notch)

What I really want to know is how she managed to keep way below the radar all these years. She is so low profile that if one googles her,  only a handful of relevant articles will come up.  When she does appear on broadsheets, it is always in association with her band (she plays the drums) or her foundation (Princess Bato). In the interview, she defended her parents with a passion  that I could not help imagine what its like to grow up alongside such powerful figures. 

Imelda. Shoes. Extravagance. Corruption. Psycho. These are just a few of the things that comes to mind when one hears the name. Personally, after once seeing her at Bonifacio High street having dinner with friends, I have come to think of her as regal and beautiful. I expected the film to explore the many sides of Imelda. It was, after all, titled after her. I certainly did not expect it to be another documentary about the injustices and corruption during the martial law years. I expected to learn how Imelda is as a mother, a wife, a friend, a boss. I expected the film to  explore an interesting phenomenon: how she managed to convince herself of her innocence.  It amazes me that she could utter the words 'we-were-the-victims' with such conviction and straight face, its hard to believe she is lying.  I keep thinking maybe in her mind she isn't lying. That she has really come to a point where she really believes she and her husband are innocent victims of a conspiracy gone awry.  It would have been interesting to outline this phenomeonon. Instead, the film immediately took the theme of the imelda-is-psycho hypothesis by interviewing the victims of martial law and her 'confidant' Fr. Reuters.  There is really nothing new with this story. I guess my point is, if you title your film after a person, it is only fair that you let that person's side be heard. I guess the horrors of martial law is indeed too raw for our generation to view it objectively and be able to make a fair and balance documentary of the people involved. But hey, again, what do I know right?  This is just my two cents worth. 

Cheers!!!

first day

on my first day back to class, i learned that there is no such thing as first day high. kidding. first day was not bad except for the fact that we ended at around 6pm. even my weight-conscious-superego buried deep deep deeeep inside of me had to agree that one pack of skyflakes for lunch was not enough for any brain to remain functional for that long.  

my first day had me face to face with regrets, disappointments, weary faces, and battered dreams. during these times, would it be so bad to think along the lines of 'we-only-reap-what-we-sow'?  really. with all the grace and blessings from above, i think we owe it to the Giver to make the most of what we've got. lets save mourning for those which cannot be helped. for all others, we need to pick ourselves up, not look back, remain steadfast, and forged on towards the realization of His plan for us. this much we owe to ourselves, our family, and to Him.

Eat. Pray. Love.

there are some people who have everything and still feel nothing. they are neither happy, nor sad, not even content. they are disconnected from everything and everyone around them. it is as if they are watching their lives from the sidelines. they see themselves receiving all the blessings and all the love from the people around them. no matter how much they want to feel grateful and happy about it, they just don't. and they do not know why or how they got to be that way.

the next thing that they feel, after the wanting, is guilt. guilt for not being happy for all the wonderful things around them. guilt for not being able to return the same enthusiam, love, and support that they are receiving. guilt from not being able to appreciate it all.

and then these people would start thinking there is something wrong with them. that they are horrible selfish person. and since they are horrible and selfish to begin with, they start working on burying that guilt deep down where they would not be able to get in the way of their sleep.

and then the worst thing happens. they get disconnected from it all. and a big black hole from within  start gnawing and growing until it sends them  sprawling on the floor. crying. not knowing why. they just feel like they need to cry. just so they can feel again. and they can't/won't stop,  because they know, that the moment they stop crying, they will only feel the need to cry again.

it was comforting to watch the movie. 

so the bottomline: 

• have the courage to get out of your comfort zone - it's the only way to live
• embrace the people you meet along the way and learn from them 
• waiting for people to forgive you is a waste of time; it's much better to spend time working on forgiving oneself

Cheers!!!

Jimmy Kimmel: Handsome Men's Club

This Jimmy Kimmel skit will surely go down in history as one of the classics!!!


I especially love Sting's, 'Sorry, I got lost in my own eyes..'.

and Ethan Hawke's 'Handsome Hawke.' LOL.

Cheers!!!

Jon Stewart exposes Fox news hypocrisy through a song

I so LOoooooveeeeee Jon Stewart! It amazes me that one of the most trusted "newsanchor" in America is a comedian! I hope someday the Philippines will have its own version of him.

 

 A real genius. 

Cheers! 

MyPhone: proudly Filipino-made

Since I am the type of person who tends to lose things inside a bag, no matter the size, I keep thinking a phone with a dual sim capacity is just what I need. Because it would mean one less thing to put inside my bag. Seriously, if my mom were to see the insides of my bag, she would end up asking God where she went wrong with me.

Depressed with the Pathology final exam, I went ahead and bought the cheapest but hip looking MyPhone, their newest Q19i dual sim phone. Since its still a relatively new release, they were selling it for P1880. I was informed that they would be raising the price as soon as the promo period ends, as to the question of when that would be, the saleslady had no idea. 

The phone pretty much lived up to its expectation: dual sim and hip looking. Yeah. It had its 15-minute of fame. Several people gawked and asked if they could check out the features. But thats just it. Its usefulness  can be sum up with its two functions: texting and calling.

The dual sim was perfect for me since I never had to bring a second phone for my Sun number. But thats just about it. No wifi. No BLUETOOTH (geeezz!!). No respectable camera even! I mean, if they had to put applications that need internet connection such as Facebook, MSN, Twitter, why the hell would they not think of putting a wifi capacity on it at the same time? If they had to put a camera, why the hell would they not think of putting a bluetooth functionality as well? And if they had to put a media player or an ebook reader, why would they not think of putting an actual software that would enable the phone to read a .pdf or an mp3 file. I could put up with VGA camera. I could even put up with the fact that it had no bluetooth capacity. What I could not put up with is the fact that they do not have a pcsuite installer for Windows 7 yet! How am I going to transfer my low-resolution pictures from the phone to the notebook? It is common knowledge that most Filipinos use prepaid, which means they run on tight budgets. So what makes myphone manufacturers think that Filipinos are ready to pay their providers just so they could  tweet or facebook when we have cheaper internet cafes for that?

Even as I write this, I realize that I am only getting what I paid for. I wanted a cheap dual-sim phone without considering the consequences of not having a blue-tooth or a wi-fi. Uugghh.. But I just really have to ask, is common sense too much to ask for from our Filipino phone manufacturers?

Judith McNaught Ebooks

Hard to find Judith Mcnaught ebooks

• Whitney, My love
• A kingdom of dreams
• Until You
• Miracles 
• Something Wonderful
• Almost Heaven

P10.00/ebook 
Mode of payment: pasaload Smart; eload: Sun 
text me for faster transaction: 09322136260
I'll email the ebook as soon as I receive the load. :) 


I'll be posting my other ebooks as soon as I've sorted them all out. So keep posted! :) 

Pearl Farm

For the first time in my seventeen years of living in Davao City, I get to go to Pearl Farm! Pathetic isn't it?  With seven siblings all in private schools, my family never had the extra money for such luxury until now. Plus, we always thought Pearl Farm is overrated, what with all the uber nice beaches all over Samal Island at so much cheaper rates. 

For economic reasons, we opted for the day tour package.  Reservations can be made on the 3rd floor of Gaisano mall. I'm sure their online reservation works just as well for people outside of Davao City. I cannot remember the exact price for a day tour package but we paid roughly around 14,990 for 9 people. 

The boat leaves at 8 am so we were informed to be there 30 minutes before. We arrived at around seven thirty at the Davao Marina Wharf. If you have no idea how to get there, just board a taxi and inform the driver that you need to go to where the boat for Pearl farm is at Lanang. Don't worry, you won't get ripped off by the cab drivers here. Just to be sure, those with reputable names such as Holiday, STC, or Maligaya.

Once there, you just need to have your bags checked for secuirty reasons, register, and wait for the boat to be ready. There is a cafe for people who wants to have breakfast befor boarding the boat. Admirably, they really leave at exactly 8 am.

The 40-minute boat ride started with a waiter handing out bottles mineral water for

 free! My advice, grab one no matter what. You paid dearly for those. The ride was pretty much uneventful. 

We were greeted warmly with a complimentary watermelon juice by the staff. A brief orientation was given on the rules of the resort and limitation of the packages that we purchased. The day tour fee is already inclusive of: 

• a lunch buffet (for which I silently huuuraaiieed!)
• use of 2 swimming pools and a jacuzzi
• boat ride to/from and tour of the other island 
• rides on electric golf cartswithin the resort
• any open cottages
• darts and billiard table use
• boat ride to and from the resort (one has to register an hour before the actual time when you wish to leave)  

The infinity pool was divine! The second larger pool and the jacuzzi were so-so due to the fact that many leaves had fallen into them from the trees that lined on the sides. Although, it provided a very nice spot for swimming with lesser heat from the sun.
     

Infinity Pool

view from an open cottage beside the infinity pool

going to the other island

 I am still kicking myself for not taking pictures of the buffet table. If you are like me who loves hunting down buffet places, you'd probably find theirs -- uhhmm -- sufficient. It was not impressive but it was not disappointing either. The cordon bleu was delicious. Its just that I was expecting more seafood recipes like crabs, shrimps, tuna, and seaweeds. After all, Samal had always been known for its fresh seafood products. It is, after all, an island. I definitely did not expect to see grilled pork, which they served, but it was still delicious. Their salads and desserts were great! from blueberry cheesecake to waldorf! everything tasted great! But then again, I am pretty much easy to please when it comes to desserts and salads, so what do I know right? :) 

All in all, P1500/person deal, was pretty much sweet considering their excellent amenities. The staff were all friendly and polite. What we paid for during the reservation was pretty much everything that we had to shell out. No hidden charges (except for the drinks during lunch, but then again, they were not hidden, it was kind of expected in all buffet setting). I still stand by my earlier statement though. Samal island offers many many more equally beutiful beaches at a much much cheaper price. They may not offer the same amenities as Pearl farm does, they would still be able to deliver the same relaxing enjoyable get-away that we all deserve from the real world. 

Cheers!

de-MYTH-ing Mindanao

A good friend visited me early this September. The first words that came out of her mouth as soon as we ended our super tight hug was, "Mare, nasa Mindanao ba ako? (Friend, am I in Mindanao?). 

Like most Luzon born-and-bred people, my friend grew up with various and scary assumptions about everything and anything that is Mindanao, no thanks to the soap-opera-loving-news-network. People from Visayas normally do not have these as most of the older generation of Mindanaoans were originally from there. So the first twenty minutes of our drive from the airport to the hotel was spent reassuring my friend that Davao, although situated in Mindanao, was really a safe place.

Here are a few things that you need to know about Davao and its surrounding cities  and provinces (Tagum City, Digos City, Davao del Sur, Davao del Norte, Compostela Valley)

 

People don't shoot each other on the streets, although we do get the occasional civilian-vs-police or just the plain asshole-vs-another-asshole-shooting action like any other cities in the world. These are rare and isolated incidents. 

Mindanao bombings usually do not involve Davao City. The Media would always report about the bombing incident in Mindanao like it is a very small place which can be brought down with just one bomb. Out of the hundreds bombings in the history of Mindanao, there are only a few that really involved Davao City. Below is the history of Davao City bombings (or at least the ones found in google):

• 1981 - San Pedro Cathedral
• 1993 - San Pedro Cathedral 
• 2003 - old airport; March 4 (21 killed, 144 injured)
• 2003 - Sasa Wharf Passenger's Terminal  (april 2; 16 killed; 55 injured)
• 2005 - simultaneous Valentines day bombing of Makati, General Santos City, and Davao City  (1 killed; 5 injured in Davao City alone)

 Alright, the picture ain't pretty. However what I am trying to say is that not all parts of Mindanao is affected by war, bombings, or terrorists at all times. We may have sad and horrifying incidents now and then, but most of the time, it is generally a peaceful place to live in. Think Ireland and its Irish Republican Army, think of the Isla Perejil  conflict of Spain and Morocco, of the Mexican drug war. Uhmm.. these may not be good analogies but I would assumed most would get the picture. We here in Mindanao have more good and peaceful times than bad and horrifying times. Why do you think most people stay if that is not so?

The beaches are a thousand times more beutiful than those I've seen in Luzon, I've only seen the ones in Batanga. It is also much much cheaper. :) you can check the prices on this site:  http://samalbeaches.com/. All of these is just one boat ride away from the city. 


And the food! Oh, don't get me started about the food. Everything from tuna to veggies to meat are divinely fresh and uber cheap! I'll be posting more about them in my next posts.


Bottom line is: Mindanao is a large island with diverse culture. One religion, culture, or incident cannot and should not define it. If one really wants a glimpse of Mindanao as it truly is, do not turn on your television. Instead, look to your friends or acquiantances who grew up here. You might just be surprised. 


cheers!

and my point

Im baaaaaack!!!!!!!!!!! 

In Davao City, that is. Ugh.. alright.. for two years now. I came back for medical school. I was bred here.  After graduation, I left home to try my luck in Manila. and boy! HOW I LOVED THE FREEDOM! the anonymity, the people who couldn't care less with what you do with your own life, my own apartment (alright! I had a flatmate, but still I owned the fridge, and the DVD, and the TV, and the gas range). aaaahh.. living alone was a dream... for about a year or so... and then suddenly the loneliness crept in. Its true, what they say, if it is not really you, it won't stick. So one by one, all the drinking, the smoking, the weekend-bank-account-hemorrhaging-get-aways, they all floated away. Suddenly, I was done with it all. And all I could ever think of was getting home and persuing my lifelong dream -medicine. 

So after 5 years of searching for myself, I found myself enrolling into medical school. Thank God my parents and siblings are still willing to finance everything despite getting disappointed year after year my negativity and lame excuses ('im way too old', 'my brains cells died a long time ago', 'its too expensive', 'i'd rather work abroad').

Now, one and half year of medical school and 10 lbs heavier, I find that it is not as I thought it would be. Yes, I expected it to be hard but not as hard as it really is. What I did not expect the most is that I'd find myself struggling with memorizing facts. Back in college, I was insecure with my intelligence because I had always thought of myself as a "parrot" student - one who memorizes stuff without understanding them. I never had a hard time memorizing chapters and chapters of facts. What I found hard back then were subjects that would make me analyze things like Philosophy and English, (two-page-single-spaced-reflection-paper-on-Macbeth, seriously, who reads those these days???). I used to be able to memorize a chapter on anatomy  in just one reading a night before a long exam, never revisit those pages, and still get everything right in the term exams. Now I find myself reading one page again and again just to be able to memorize facts. It must be from all the coffee over the last 6 years. 

Anyway, people keep telling me to embrace medical life like there is no other life for me. Up to now, I refused to accept this. I have seen other lifestyles that are actually compatible with life, and friends, and family, and eight-hour-sleep-a-day. And they are all very fulfilling. During my first year, I keep thinking I could always go back if medicine does not work. But now, on my 2nd year, with my parents two hundred thousand pesos poorer, I am beginning to think there is nothing for me to return back to. Medicine is all I've got. So I could either reactivate my neurons and embrace the lifestyle or sink. And I choose the later. But not without a fight. 

This blog is my way of rebelling against medicine. I refuse to accept the fact that medicine will hinder me from my first love - traveling and living life. And since I currently on allowance, I will limit myself to travelling and rediscovering the city that I have come to call home for the past 17 years - Davao City.